today the red cross sent her for a chest x-ray
 
this girl I know
who always wears summer dresses
and a smile
lent me a book on awareness
but wants it back before
she goes to work in a conflict zone
for the red cross in september

she travelled in a big red bus
to a surfers festival in donegal
where she worked
in the big red bus café
on her breaks she surfed
smoked loads of weed
listened to reggae and ate falafel

last Wednesday she received a
back payment from the social welfare
and felt guilty about it
so she donated half of it to charity
bought donkeys for three Ethiopian families
spent a small fortune on ingredients for a friends dinner
and paid for my vegetable soup

she stopped at a chocolatier
to buy one solitary chocolate
and then ate it hurriedly
while she chatted to
a circus guy she knew
about a party she had missed when she
was on the big red bus

while skimming through books
in the spirituality section
wearing her summer dress and a smile
she said she felt sick
from having eaten the chocolate too
quickly and was sad that she hadn’t
taken the time to enjoy it

today the red cross sent her for
a chest x-ray
 
the corner of the kitchen table
 
some people don’t like extremes

some people cry for you
on their kitchen floor

some people don’t read books
afraid that if they did they
might end up unhappy
from thinking

some people don’t masturbate

some people get off against
the corner of the kitchen table

some people don’t like sex
afraid that if they did they
might end up unhappy
from feeling

some people don’t sleep

some people take sleeping tablets
with their coffee at the kitchen counter

some people don’t like to wake up
afraid that if they did they
might end up unhappy
from waking

some people

copied and pasted
 
everything seems copied and pasted
everything seems done before
the fear of finally saying you love me
when i’ve heard it a thousand times and more
romantic dinners at romantic restaurants
romantic walks romantic breaks
dressing up in cheap lingerie
sitting on your wanton face

everything seems copied and pasted
all the good and all the bad
whispered words of tender undoing
bitter fights that drive me mad
stress filled dinners at stress filled restaurants
stress filled walks stress filled breaks
dressing down in unflattering pyjamas
pushing away your angry face

everything seems copied and pasted
something old nothing new
everything borrowed
 

Nicola Depuis